Essay Writing 4

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In this final peer editing feedback before the Formative Deadline, I got the chance again to receive valuable feedback regarding the direction of my essay. I worked on feedback from last time and included images and a reference list that although isn't complete allows me to include the site references that I have gathered. 

The main feedback from my peer editorial was that I had interesting points, captivating facts and figures, well informed quotes, and  good links to design that overall answers the question at hand. Feedback for improvements included considering the opening and how it can be even more effective. I think that the peer editorial feedback has been very effective in growing my essays content and working week by week has definitely taking the stress off other modules. The topic I have chosen has also been very interesting to me and I have found myself becoming more and more immersed in the context behind the branding at Supreme. 
In the second half of the seminar we were required to bring in a relevant book that we could use to reference within our work. I chose to bring in the book; 'Barbara Kruger, Modern Art Oxford' as Kruger's work is very influential to the context of Supreme's past and future controversial ad campaigns. We were asked to describe the book using effective language, key words with a good structure. We were also asked to be more discreet and more ambiguous when describing rather than stating the obvious - possibly picking out hidden meaning and messages that are actually more interesting than the whats at face value. Overall I was very pleased with the outcome of the description and once again I believe this helps a lot with incorporating books and images into our essay. I liked the outcome of this exercise so much that I actually incorporated the short description into my essay. Here is the outcome of what I came up with; 

 

"Tackling political and social issues such as feminism and Government, Barbara Kruger's Modern Art Oxford details the art of abstract expressionism - taking images from the mass media and pasting them big, bold and free across the centre of the pages. The questions, slogans and phrases are there to  make the audience think in a way that other artists and designers are afraid to."

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